January 2011
46 posts
Truer Words
Matthew: I wish they'd just make SNL 70% Stefon
Guys...
coolsongz4teengirlz:
Things are heating up and getting very tangible in our campaign to get Chris Kirkpartick to be our guest at the Cool Show 4 Teen Girlz in March.
If you’d help us really tip things over the edge in the next few days by letting @IamCKirkpatrick know how much we’d love to have him at the CS4TG show in March (using the hashtag #CKdoesNY), we’d be eternally grateful.
MIRACLES...
GET YOUR ASS ONSTAGE TONIGHT!
→
Guys, I have a stand-up show tonight at Karma Lounge at 7:30pm. WHY DO YOU CARE? Because they also do 5 bucket spots, so come to my show and then DO WHAT YOU DO BEST (which would be getting a bucket spot)
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a...”
– Albert Einstein (via theyallrun)
Einstein then elbowed the jukebox and “Blueberry Hill” started playing.
Always, Forever
Noblet: In answer to the question, what was the Magna Carta, you wrote "Planet Zoot." And in response to the query, what was the capital of France during the Nazi occupation, you traced your hand.
Jerri: Oh yeah, I drew a beak on my thumb there. Oh! It’s a turkey! It must've been the holidays.
Noblet: It was yesterday, Jerri.
chamberlain:
Chambaland - “Map Story” (Taylor...
“That’s all Valentine’s Day is, anyway: Sex Christmas.”
– Dan, the smartest man alive
YOU GUYS
What happened to DListed? I didn’t read it for a couple months and it’s all different now. It’s clearly being written by someone else! I want my Michael K! Seriously, can anyone fill me in?
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me
I was having an argument with Matthew about whether awful lyrics guarantee a bad song. Ladies and gentlemen, Train!
“She never compromises, loves babies and surprises/Wears high heels when she exercises” Girl’s Achilles heels are going to snap and roll up like window shades.
-Meet Virginia
“She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo/Reminds me that there’s room to...
I love the mom in the Dead Zone 2 commerical
Who says something like, “I think it would make a person become insane.” I like to imagine she says that about anything she doesn’t understand, like what an app is or shortcake-flavored gum.
Confessions of an ex-Vitaminwater employee →
Aside from the fact that Vitaminwater is a company of terrible liars, the Lemonade flavor has an aftertaste that is exactly the smell you get on your hand after you catch a grasshopper. It is foul as HELL.
jason flowers thinks he's hilarious: HELP US GET... →
bridgecomedy:
coolsongz4teengirlz:
Hey there faithful CS4TG followers.
We’re Dan Chamberlain and Jason Flowers, and we run this Tumblr. We’re both comedians in New York City, and are currently cobbling together the first installment of CS4TG: Cool Show 4 Teen Girlz- and we need your help.
We…
This show’s a must-see.
This needs to happen! I know someone who follows me must be Chris...
Tatooine's twin suns - coming to a planet near you... →
“Though it is a derivation of the Arabic phrase ‘yad Al Jauza’ meaning the ‘hand of Al-Jauza’ referring to a mysterious woman that controls the order of the universe, it hasn’t stopped some people from clearing out their bunkers and stocking up on tinned food.”
I always knew I was going to die at the hand of a fabulous diva; I just though it would be Lindsay,...
Since He Replied Wednesday But It Is Now...
Which day is Lou Diamond Phillips replying to my tweet suggesting he should represent Blue Diamond Almonds the best part of?
Anne Hathaway Wins Catwoman Role In The Dark... →
Guys? Hear me out. TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, Anne “has been cast as Selina Kyle.” Nowhere does the press release say that she will be Catwoman. BEAR WITH ME. I know what you’re saying, Selina Kyle IS Catwoman. But hold your horses, pal. All I’M saying is that there is still a slim ,possibly microscopic chance, that CHER. IS. CATWOMAN.
'Jersey Shore' Recap: A Threesome Averted, and a... →
Oh won’t you please read my Jersey Shore recap at RollingStone.com? It takes less time than actually WATCHING it, I’ll tell you that much! Also: Sammi is the epic pits.
And the beat goes on.....
reba:
I guess you’re wondering how my Spanish lessons are coming along. Well, I haven’t had one lesson yet. We got back home after the holidays and I went into a closet/pantry cleaning/cooking frenzy!!!! The bean soup turned out great, by the way. Reba
OH MY GOD REBA IS ON TUMBLR THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I WANT TO EAT BEAN SOUP AND LEARN SPANISH WITH REBA FOR THE LOVE ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE...
BABY FACE
jamesvandermemes:
It is SO FRIGGIN’ COLD in my apartment. The windows are made of that candy glass you would put in the windows in a gingerbread house (if you were making a gingerbread house and were also a millionaire). I lit a candle and the flame is BLOWING IN THE BREEZE that is leaking around the panes. Looks like the only solution is…a bathtub filled with vegan chili!
How To Make A Delicious Late Night Treat
1) Rummage through your shelves, being sure to knock over numerous half-empty boxes of raisins you have for some reason. Whatever you do, do not pick anything up when you drop it on the ground. You need something to keep you busy in the morning.
2) Open a can of Amy’s curried lentils, because that is literally the only thing in your cabinet that isn’t a can of kidney beans. Eat part...
loserbeam asked: I can actually finally make it to one of your shows! I'm such a tool. Would they let me in for Gentrify Brooklyn, being underage and all, or do I have to sneak in?
loserbeam asked: I can actually finally make it to one of your shows! I'm such a tool. Would they let me in for Gentrify Brooklyn, being underage and all, or do I have to sneak in?
3 tags
Go See Toy Story 3. Go See Toy Story 3. Go See Toy...
(This is obviously a Toy Story 3 review I wrote and never published, but as I clear out the ol’ drafts file, it still rings too. Especially if you haven’t seen in, in which case GO SEE IT NOW)
I would just like to say up top that I was not initially thrilled at the idea of seeing Toy Story 3. I went because I wanted to spend time with some dear, dear friends who for some reason wanted...
“Everyone’s all cool and hip until they’re like, “Where are my...”
– Dan, in references to our 4:00am White Castle nightmare
Where do you talk from? →
chrysilla:
More evidence that I talk funny. Tho there are a lot more Jersey accents than those listed.
“The classic New York City accent (which may be fast disappearing) features a strongly raised vowel in “caught,” and “four” and “for” are pronounced the same way, as are “mourning” and “morning.”
Wait….those words...