December 2008
81 posts
Zooey Deschanel Is Engaged! →
someone once described me as looking like a fat Zooey Deschanel, so i’ve always been quietly rooting for her world domination. i can’t wait for the little doe-eyed moppets these guys are going to pop out, but JESUS, Ben Gibbard, you have seriously crossed over into goggle territory.
i like it when i cough so hard my desk becomes a beautiful holiday whirlwind of office supply receipts and Viactiv wraps.
yeah, but priests don't usually "shake it all... →
holiday eats
Me: What are you going to make with those potatoes?
Paul G.: I usually just boil them..
Me: You could always cook them with leeks and bacon and milk and make like a delicious chowder.
Paul G.: ...sometimes I put mustard on them
mr hoffman →
(via dazzlingdelta)
mmmhmmm
"I have so much to offer. I have a good heart.... →
sad. I was rooting for her.
“Fiction is a kind of compassion-generating machine that saves us from sloth. Is life kind or cruel? Yes, Literature answers. Are people good or bad? You bet, says Literature. But unlike other systems of knowing, Literature declines to eradicate one truth in favor of another; rather, it teaches us to abide with the fact that, in their own way, all things are true, and helps us, in the face...
whiteleatherpalace:
“In lieu of a holiday gift, Prudential has made a donation to the NAILBA Charitable Foundation.”
really? because when I googled “NAILBA” i didn’t see any charity mentioned. you cheap commie bastards. I WANT MY FUCKING GIFT BASKET!
It’s actually spelled “NAMBLA”
i realize that i can’t really be mad at anyone if i die alone, since its my own fault that i want to see Paul Blart, Mall Cop. i mean, why would anyone want to take over a mall??!? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!!
Mother of Palin daughter's boyfriend arrested →
Ho ho hilarious
200 orgasms a day →
would it be gross to see someone walking down the street brushing their teeth? what if I wasn’t using toothpaste, would that make a difference?
UDDERLY ICKY →
god, the NYP can suck my snow-white fun bags. my mother breast-fed my brother and I until we were past our 3rd birthdays, and we turned out fine, just FINE, i’m telling you.
Polar bears resort to cannibalism as Arctic ice... →
o jesus christ, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW PEOPLE!
God will do anything for attention →
o god, there is a PICTURE of the foot.
The George W. Bush Presidential Library
(HA! I just got this email in from my library school listserv. Library jokes are huh-LAR-ious) (ha! toilet.) Dear Fellow Constituent: The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include: The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything....
And now Phillip Seymour Hoffman is on the Daily Show too! God, he is one beautiful scoop of butter pecan ice cream covered in hair, isn’t he?
to the extent that i hadn't noticed he was there
Hall & Oates are on the Daily Show! And they are rocking out…now!
Survey: Many women would take Internet access over... →
soupsoup:
6od:muppetpants:danieliz:everybodycares:
Nearly half of the women questioned by Harris Interactive said they’d be willing to forgo sex for two weeks, rather than give up their Internet access, according to a study released Monday by Intel, which commissioned the survey.
While 46 percent of the women surveyed were willing to engage in abstinence versus losing their Internet,...
i don’t even get tea. its just hot smell water.
Rupaul's The Greatest Show Ever Made →
Akashia, Cleveland Love!
Is Jon Lovitz Gay?
wooliebear:
jaimeleighfairbrother:
wooliebear:
crazyonyou:
He was dating Janice Dickinson a few years ago.
I’m sorry, what? Janice Dickinson and Jon Lovitz? If that were a movie plot, even Jon Lovitz would refuse to be a part of it. Unbelievable.
Rush & Molloy, March 18, 2005
JANICE DICKINSON has dated everybody from Sly Stallone to Mick Jagger but her current squeeze, Jon Lovitz,...
Is Jon Lovitz Gay?
well, is he?
I say yes, because I’d rather Jon Lovitz be gay then straight and not fathering my offspring.
An Evening with Jon Lovitz →
OMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD. This is where I want tell my grandkids that I met Grandpa. Wait, unless…is Jon Lovitz gay? YAHOO ANSWERS SAYS NO!
"Seeping wounds are always unnerving."
i am the queen of the uncomfortable get-well card.
Godspeed, Little Doodle →
I mean, we all know that Trig isn’t Palin’s real son, right? God I will miss this story. I am PRAYING she tries to run again in 2012, just so we can hash this out all over again. Good luck Trig!
The Differences between Men and Women
E-mails from Grandma, a forgotten gem 1. Women order wine while at fancy parties, but men order BEER! 2. Women have periods and men leave the toilet seat up every GOD DAMN TIME what’s that about? 3. Women are smart and read books but men watch FOOTBALL and BURP! 4. Women go through the pain of child birth but men let their buttcracks hang out of their pants EW! 5. Women take forever to...
Wow, Fuck the NFL →
“If there’s a woman in the room, I have to watch what I say. Maybe we need to go back and make an exception for her and the wives of players with dementia. But then again, men are men and they’ll look at that woman and will not say everything they want to say in the manner they want to say it.”
God, what is WRONG with people? If you can’t say something in front of a woman who has to clean...
Troy McClure Film or Actual Terrible Movie? →
“By then I was selling the hell out of buicks at night. So I got a little place of my own and moved her in with me. Now we’re pals. Family. It’s not perfect. Sometimes it’s damn hard. But I look after her and she squeals with delight when I come home, and the sum total of sadness in the world is less than it would have been.”
-George Saunders,...
Happy Birthday, Adolph! →
Jesus Christ on a cracker. What a bleak story. No personalized cakes are just the beginning for this little guy, poor bastard.
Also a sweet band name →
Pervert Inventor Le Trung Still Working On... →
Now, hold up. Basically, Le is claiming that “he never had time to find a real partner, so he designed one using the latest technology.” Now, that’s a shame. If only he could have some how figured out how to open up his schedule a little bit, just to have some time to try dating. Like, maybe he could have asked to work fewer hours or try out flex time, or maybe do some online...