February 2012
27 posts
2 tags
Guys, don't worry!
It turned out the blond female protagonist of I Just Want My Pants Back (no, the other one) didn’t have chlamydia; it was just some sort of horrific vaginal infection from WEARING SKINNY JEANS. YOU KNOW, LIKE WE ALL HAVE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT’S A THING. I know wear skinny jeans almost every day and I can’t remember the time I didn’t have foul pustulating irritated...
Guys, this might be an exaggeration
but it seems like I Just Want My Pants back is the worst fucking show to ever boil human eyeballs with its searing horribleness. It is unspeakably bad. Oh god.
edgarsux asked: It’s from Party Monster.
Hey, Rihanna, you should date me instead.
stevecronincomedy:
Hey Rihanna,
My name’s Steve Cronin, I’m a comic living in New York City. I’m not sure if this is true, but I’ve read online that you might be getting back together with Chris Brown. This is going to sound crazy, but… and I’m using bold font so you know it’s important… you should date me instead of getting back together with Chris Brown. But before we date there are a few...
“In the past few years, about half of the astronauts aboard the international...”
– Astronaut feels space’s toll on his body – Light Years - CNN.com Blogs
Weiiiiiiiiiiiiird.
2 tags
“Two dozen Catholic bishops were saying not to support Komen. We needed to find...”
– Ex-Komen Exec Karen Handel Predictably Claims Planned Parenthood Betrayed Her
Now maybe this is just me, but the fact that organizations are still making decisions based on pressure from an insane, misogynist dying religion makes my hands shake with unbridled terror. LADIES, DO YOU FEEL ME?
3 tags
January 2012
33 posts
“I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no...”
– (via stellablu)
Yeah, especially ‘cause I fucking ROCK OUT when I’m making a sandwich. And when crying in my bed. FRIENDS ARE FOR FUCKING LOSERS, YA’LL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 tag
Watchkellyqehudson:
paulbriganti:
New Jest video: “I Didn’t Know I Was Gilbert Gottfried”.
I wrote and directed this video starring Iago himself.
OH MY GOD! YES ABBI! Look at those similar little eyes!!!
Oh my god, yes
classicslasshy asked: YAY FOR INTERNET FRIENDS! (I am not that anon person)
Hal Phillips: i'm tired →
halphillips:
I honestly have no clue why everyone is flipping out about Lana Del Rey on SNL being the worst thing ever.
I just saw a normal shitty singer singing a shitty song. Boring and not my thing, but it seemed like she did what she was trying to do. Can’t imagine why anyone who liked her before would…
Man, Hal, you’re really pulling a Lana Del Rey right now.
Lana Del Rey's SNL Performance Is So, So Goofy
1) My friend who had never heard her described her performance as “spoken word.” He wasn’t joking. Also? He wasn’t joking.
3) Has Lana talked publicly about which Ricky’s Halloween aftersale was the source of that wig?
Anonymous asked: Thank you for hating that insufferable Eugenides novel. What a gross old upper-middle-class navelgazer. Also I still crush out on your Jersey Shore recaps. Okay bye.
I just finished The Marriage Plot
Guys, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I just wanted to run my hand under cold water until it got chilly and slightly damp, and then slap the shit out of every single character in this book in order of appearance. I still want that. Can we just forget this book ever happened? My least favorite parts of The Marriage Plot in no particular order were:
1) When Madeleine (I think we’re supposed to be...
Should The Times Be A Truth Vigilante? →
soupsoup:
I hope this is a joke. The New York Times Public Editor wonders aloud if their journalists should be reporting the truth.
Seriously?
“I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge “facts” that are asserted by newsmakers they write about.”
Oh my god, this is embarrassing. This is like if your office was preparing the...
