Halle, I wanna be funny. I mean, shit on that funny guy at the party, funny...you seem to have an idea of how to do it. Thing is, I'm an American citizen living in Germany and I want to have some fun...I dont drink (fuckin greeaaaatt for this country) and end up getting bored at parties I'm invited to, and BEING boring. I need your help. Weather or not they will understand me is my problem, I plan to learn German eventually...
This is a great, fascinating question. The fact there is a language barrier, you don’t drink and you don’t particularly like parties in and of themselves might seem like a problem, but I think it actually opens up a whole world of possibilities for you. It sounds like you aren’t going to split any sides with word play, so my instinct is that you should go big and broad with your comedy. Here are some possibilities off the top of my head:
1) Amp up your Americanness. Be the most American American you can be, in the positive sense. Americans are stereotyped as being loud and boorish, but they are also known for being extremely friendly, as in they immediately want to be people’s friends in a way that is very particular to us. (My French friend told me this, so take it with a grain of salt.) Wear an American flag t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a fanny pack and clasp everyone you meet in a big bear hug. Get teary-eyed and tell them you can feel that you and they are going to be the best of buddies. See how it goes from there.
2) Amp up your Germanness. I don’t know much about German culture myself, but you can probably identify the ways in which it is different than American culture. Do they place a high value on respect? On politeness? On hospitality? Be so polite, it’s absurd. Be so respectful, it’s baffling. Respect the snack table. Apologize for your shoes. Bring an entire ham to dinner.
3) Lead anyone in anything. Start a dance party, and slowly let your moves get more and more bizarre. Let yourself have over-the-top facial reactions and commit to it. Pretend you have an inner ear disorder and fall down constantly. This is a universally funny thing. People. love. falling. down. People also love it when someone surprises them. Surprise them. Easier to do with alcohol, sure, but if you commit to this while sober, you are truly a comedian among comedians. Or an improviser.
I think the key to cutting people up when they don’t speak your language is to basically be a clown. Clowns don’t talk because for them, talking is irrelevant. On the flip side, read the room. There’s a fine line between “goofball everyone wants to hang out with” and “that person at the party everyone silently hates.” If you want to give me more specifics about what you think is funny, I can brainstorm some other options. I think the goal in all of this is that your German friends’ friends should be asking them about “that weird American guy,” but with excitement in their voices Good luck!
Hi. I was wondering if you could help me out. I am not good at talking to girls on online dating sites. I write them and they never write me back. You seem like a nice girl that I would like to date. Could give me any advice to make my messages better? Maybe I could try to be funny like you. I would really appreciate it if you could take a look and my tumblr and see some of the messages i have been writing to girls and give me any advice you can think of. Thanks. -Brian
"6. Anyone have a tampon?" HAHAHA OH MY GOD I HAVE SAID THAT! OH MY SWEET HEAVENLY CHRIST CHILD, those actual words have come out of my mouth and now I’m seeing them with my very own human eyes and it’s like ELITE DAILY THE VOICE OF GENERATION-Y YES THAT IS THEIR ACTUAL TAGLINE is INSIDE MY BRAIN, harvesting my ACTUAL MEMORIES for SHIT I HAVE SAID, penetrating deep into the collective feminine unconscious and drawing forth HERETOFORE UNSPOKEN TRUTHS such as the fact that every girl has at some point asked if anyone had a tampon while she was on her period. HAHAHAHA I HAVE BEEN LAID BARE BY ELITE DAILY THE VOICE OF GENERATION-Y YES GENERATION-Y IS WRITTEN WITH A HYPHEN. Mine me for truths and then reveal them unto me in a cycle of discovery and revelation, Elite Daily FOREVER AND EVER AMEN!
Liza Dye is a comic in NY that was unfortunately hit by a subway car on Feb. 13th. She survived and is in good spirits, all things considered, but her left leg was fairly badly injured and she is expected to have to stay in the hospital until doctors see fit to release her. Because she has no health insurance, we’re putting together a benefit to help her out with medical expenses. This will be a great show for a great cause - we hope to see you there. Click the link above for tickets.